It sparkles

There are a lot of different ways to keep your body healthy. Diet, exercise, fresh air, sunlight-but not too much, and drinking water. Lots of water.  Drinking water is the only health regimen that hasn't come in and out of vogue. All the other things you should do to stay healthy and remain young have changed.

They used to say, ‘Eat margarine, not butter, it’s better for you.” Less fat and all that. But now margarine is toxic and the fatter the butter the better. And long ago, when a kid was sick, his mom would send him out for some fresh air. That’ll cure him. But now, the air outside is probably the cause of most diseases. So, if you have a gas mask, you should wear it the next time you go outside. And, don’t get me started on sunlight. Obviously, it's of the devil.

But water is ok. So drink up. Well, as long as you stay away from plastic bottles. Other than that, it’s all good.

Just one thing. You can’t stand it, can you? I know, if you're anything like a majority of Americans, you'd rather drink anything but water, you'd just assume go thirty if it was the only choice.

The health gurus have figured out that they have to trick you into drinking your water like you’re a three-year-old who has to be tricked into eating her vegetables. They tell you to put lemon in it or cucumber or raspberries. Whatever fruit, vegetable, or root you think is amazing enough to con your taste buds into loving water.

You can even dump in some fake sugar that has a crazy color if that helps you drink your eight, eight-ounces.  But you have to drink it. Unless you want zombie skin and pooping pellets sounds desirable.

There is another option. I'm not too sure it's a good source of water, but many seem to think it's a good substitute. Sparkling water. I get it, it is water, and it’s like soda only without the sugar. So that's good, right? I'm not so sure. It comes in just about every flavor, and it is fizzy. So, yum, I guess? But really, have you tried it? It's awful. And if you have tried it and you do say it is good, you're lying.

So, stop throwing that tantrum. And go get a glass of water and drink it!